Family Conflict

Joshua 22:1-34.

What do you do when one member of the family choses a direction the rest of the family does not agree with?

One member of the family goes a different way from the rest. How is this to be handled?

Joshua 22 tells us of a family conflict that nearly broke out into open war. Three tribes (Reuben, Gad, and the half tribe of Manasseh) had chosen to settle EAST of the Jordan River. The Land of Promise toward which Israel had journeyed for 40 years was WEST of the river. The other 9 tribes did not like it that these 3 tribes were stopping short of the destination.

War almost broke out and was only averted by calmly talking the situation through. I find four lessons:

  1. Latent anger in a family is deadly. Most families have some sort of challenge. Issues can last for decades.
  2. Good actions can be misinterpreted and unnecessary fights break out. The 3 tribes built an altar. Their intention was good. They wanted a memorial witness to their allegiance to their brothers on the west side of the river. But, the 9 tribes saw the building of the altar as a sign of idolatrous intent by the 3 tribes.
  3. The actions of one member of a family can affect the whole family. The 9 tribes saw the perceived idolatrous actions of the 3 tribes as provoking God’s judgment on ALL ISRAEL.
  4. Clear communication can avert further injury and possible tragedy. Conflict must be defused. The best way to do this is by asking questions and listening to answers. The original cause of the conflict (the latent issues) may not get solved. But, the immediate war can be avoided. Peace is possible, but it requires clear communication.

As time passes, all families go in different directions. Decisions are made and steps are taken. Israel settled in the Land of Promise even while 3 tribes stopped just short of the mark. Destinies are determined by such decisions. God may be more interested in HOW we walk these paths than He is in WHAT and WHERE it all ends up. Let’s love each other — even when we disagree!

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